Letting Go...Again and Again

One of the hardest things I've had to face when I started college was the fact that half of the student population was in a relationship.  I didn't think I would worry about when I was going into a relationship until I started out my freshman year, but I did.  I adjusted to dorm life just fine.  I adjusted to going to class, being on my own, and studying--all just fine.  But I worried more about when a guy was going to notice me.

I finally let that stress go when I realized that God was calling me to trust Him again.  I had gone through a crush my first semester and had repeatedly asked God to help me let go of my feelings if it wasn't met to be.  When those feelings were finally gone (for now? never to return?), I seemed to go back to stressing over being in a relationship once again.  When I finally let go of that stress, I began to have some feelings for another guy I had met.

It seems to be an endless cycle.  I want to trust God to lead me to the right direction regarding my future spouse, but yet I try to take things in my own hands.  I finally give my trust in Him, but yet I feel like I'm reading way too much into how a guy treats me.  It's frustrating.  Extremely frustrating.

But I need to let go.  I need to let things take its course naturally without me fussing over it.  I need to trust that God knows what He is doing and that He has the best plan--the best man waiting--for me regarding my "love story."  If that means praying for God to take away my feelings toward a guy because he's not right for me or it's not the right time, then so be it.

I need to let go.